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The Levels of Spiritual Romantic Relationship

Growing the soul means maturing what one emphasizes in relationship

Zeus Yiamouyiannis, Ph.D., Aug 08, 2024

I have been hearing a lot lately about finding a “high value” partner, someone that can support you comfortably in all the worldly ways and “love you forever” in all the emotional and romantic ways.

This strikes me as not only selfish and short-sighted but spiritually primitive. Yes, we are taught, even today, seventy-odd years past the 1950’s, to search for a “forever person” who will sweep us off our feet and offer heaven in a bottle… or, at least, a nice suburban enclave with nice schools. We give lip-service to those intangible qualities that make up what we know to be a morally, ethically, and spiritually “good” person.

I sometimes wonder if we were offered a choice between a rich, handsome lout/ entitled princess and a grounded, creative, funny, dependable, and caring workaday Joe or Joline, how many of us would opt for the former. What we say we want, and what we go for are often at odds, because the allure of material security and success frequently hold sway over spiritual integrity and adventure.

Does this betray your level of spiritual maturity? Ummm. Yes. But that is why I am writing this article. It is a kind of spiritual education on spiritual relationship, based on the discussion I offered in a previous article on the ascension from “having” to “doing” to “becoming” to “being,” In this article I specifically apply that discussion of spiritual development toward romantic relationships.

If you have not read this previous article on the spirituality of having, doing, becoming, and being, here is the link. In the meantime, read on…

The high value mate (to “have”)

The lowest level of spirituality involves “getting” or “bagging” a partner high in evolutionary “mate value” to match or exceed your own. This is called “marrying up” or “pairing upward” in the dating marketplace. But marrying up based on what?: On physical attractiveness, financial income and security, social reputation, professional advancement, country club candidacy, and so-forth. Is it understandable to think that “I want to aim for the highest station in worldly life”? Yes. Is it spiritual? No. To aim for the “having” is to dispose of (or neglect) the doing, becoming, and being. It is superficial, contractual, and hollow but it promises all the thrills the physical world can offer. It promises comfortable survival, but not deep thriving, and it comes with its own hazards:

Men and women have different bases of “mate-value” depending upon the sex, and this valuing is far from soulful.

The men who have high mate value are the ones with high status, guys who are intelligent, ambitious, with good incomes. These kind of men, even when they’re older can be very attractive to a lot of women.

For women the biggest thing contributing to our mate value is physical attractiveness. Yes, lots of other things count big time, like intelligence, great personality and all the rest, but these things are mainly attractive for specific men. In terms of general attractiveness it’s the physical stuff that’s important for women’s mate value.

Nor are these worldly aspirations any guarantee of honorable, loving treatment.

The thing is, a guy who’s good looking, wealthy, etc.; he’ll have lots of options but it doesn’t mean he’ll make those options happy. Having high mate value is not the same as having high value as a partner, paradoxically.

If a guy has high mate value he might not appreciate you and treat you the way you want – and there is actually research evidence showing that guys who are good looking basically aren’t so nice, and the same goes for wealthy men. They don’t have to try that hard.

Oops, turns out you might not want to invest in this short-term venture where you might be disposed of as soon as your “market value” diminishes. Let’s try the next level.

The high quality mate (“to do”)

“High quality” mating, involves finding someone with a proven track record and skills that will allow them to be a reliable partner in child-rearing, providing, sharing chores, going on adventures, and generally co-creating or making a life together. Here one emphasizes steadfastness, willingness to work, communication, protection, contribution, loyalty, affection, and so forth. High quality mates depend more upon what they can do and share than what they have. In this sense, “high quality” connotes a certain equality and mutual input, a kind of dance, where both people may have different roles, but the respect they accord each others’ contributions is strong and laced with appreciation.

I talk about this kind of relationship when I discuss, the “Social Man” in my book, The Spiritually Confident Man: Pioneering a New Frontier of Co-Creative Masculinity. Here you have the modern version of equality between the sexes in which something else presides than “what you can get me”. The new indicator of a successful relationship is: “What can we do together in a fulfilling way?” This is, by all means, more developed than simply using one another to get up in the world. However, this “high quality” framework still lacks concern for the independent spiritual and emotional growth of one’s romantic partner. There is still a somewhat contractual (versus unconditional) understanding of committed relationship.

Something important is missing— deeper advocacy for and from your partner. Let’s try the next level…

The high virtue mate (“to become”)

virtue is a “moral, social, or intellectual” “trait of excellence”. In relationships these virtues might be evidenced by interpersonal generosity, courage, joy, mercy, dignity, tenacity, selflessness, honesty, justice, and discernment. In a high virtue relationship, you don’t just “go along to get along” or “get while the getting is good” but you have a moral tensile strength to stand up for yourself and your partner in the face of adversity, and you have the truthfulness about yourself and your relationship to express humility and open yourself to growth.

In practical terms, one is willing to listen in high virtue relationships to the wisdom of one’s higher self as well as that of the other person. Partners are not only willing but eager to learn more deeply about each other. “Wanting and working for the best in the other from the best in yourself” becomes an operational motto and commitment on the part of persons in relationship. Increasingly one is being loosed from the strictures of self-satisfaction and involvement toward finding great self-fulfillment in service with others. One delights in growth, spiritual and otherwise, and can admire and appreciate sacrifice. One learns to “pay forward” sacrifices others have made for one’s own growth and advancement.

This high virtue relationship lends itself well to a “virtuous circle” in society and community in which the success and benefit of one adds to the success and benefit of others. It is far more substantive, and broad and deep in its reach and implications. Virtue supports and serves as the foundation of moral, mental, emotional, and social health.

This sounds amazing, but let’s “level up” one more…

The high spirit mate (“to be”)

Finally we arrive at the “high spirit” mate. What is there left to have, do, or become? Not much. The previous developmental embodiments of relationship have largely taken care of the having, doing, and becoming. What, then, does it mean to “be” in relationship? How is this an advancement?

As one sheers away all the attributes of relationship and selfhood, as one ascends through having, doing, and becoming, a precious human/spiritual gem is uncovered, that of what I call “divine genius” in my book, The Spiritually Confident Man. Divine genius is that nowhere-else-in-the-universe special gift that you and you alone have to offer this existence. You have been honed and “sanded” through all the having, doing, and becoming. Many of the conceits and insecurities have fallen away. Your mortality and vulnerability are at their utmost, allowing you to be creatively, lovingly, and urgently offering your “core” and deeply drinking in the core of your partner.

Gone are the conceits. Insecurities may still linger, but they do not exercise a censorious power. There is a certain boldness that comes from knowing you can leave everything on the table, so that you can “see what happens” if you fully open and devote yourself in trust of the spirit. This is the time of active faith within you and between you and a romantic partner. It is a time of integration more than a time of transcendence. Instead of simply leaving sex behind, for instance, you may delve into spiritual sex (tantric, etc.). Instead of “walking off into the sunset”, you probe toward the stars.

You have nothing to lose, and everything to freely receive. Grace abounds. You have lived a good life, and now it is time to offer that life on the altar of divine guidance in which the subtlest and deepest intuitions direct you beyond preference, beyond duty, beyond even simple learning, to a certain denouement, an unleashing, an “untying” of all life knots, and a complete freeing of the spiritual self (from one’s ego) into the freed spiritual self of your romantic partner…

The true spiritual union of freed selves choosing each other.

All blessings,

Zeus

A 5-Step User’s Guide to Covid-19—What to Know and What to Do Before, During, and After Getting Infected

(by Zeus Yiamouyiannis, Ph.D. and Regina Meredith, September 2021)

NOTE: This if for education and information purposes ONLY.  It is NOT medical advice.  It should not replace consultation with qualified medical or health professionals.   

Introduction:

First, Covid-19 and the SARS-CoV-2 virus (and its mutations) are now endemic.  That means they are not going away, and that they will be part of our circulating viruses from now on. There will be no herd immunity.  Even conventional experts admit this.  Given this and despite all the fear surrounding Covid-19, this endemic development CAN be a good thing (less deadly, less problematic), IF we prepare for it.  This document is a primer for people to help prevent and treat Covid-19 as well as deal with the aftereffects, including the many variants or mutations that have arisen and are bound to arise in the future. 

Second, it is most important, is to see Covid-19 as a spiritual opportunity and an opening to greater confidence and awareness around our health.  A sense of responsiveness, exploration, opening, and curiosity, and a no-BS engagement of effective practices and therapies should take the place of fear and anxiety.  You CAN have a conversation with this virus, and, if all goes well, reach equilibrium with it over the span of three to four weeks with some possible lingering effects and healing over the next months. Anxiety and fear is the second highest risk factor for Covid, giving you a 28% chance of a worse outcome.  It cannot be stated how much staying calm, thoughtful, and open can help. 

Third, there are three phases to Covid-19 that roughly follow three weeks from initial infection.  The first week is the viral phase, uncomfortable for sure and, for some, critical.  However, the later stages (and later weeks) also have to be carefully respected and attended.  Week two, is the inflammation phase (called a cytokine storm) where the body reacts to the foreign proteins introduced by the virus.  Week three is the clotting phase, as the overreaction by the body, and dysregulation by the viruses cause mini-clots that make it very difficult for the body to get oxygen in some people.  One must aware that this disease runs basically 4 weeks in total before you are out of the woods in terms of an acute phase, and into longer recovery for any lingering effects.  

Fourth, NOTE: “brain fog” is an important issue in Covid-19.  We have had many of our friends with Covid-19 become incoherent and lose their bearings once Covid-19 kicks in and oxygen levels drop. It is essential you set up a few support people (friends or family) to help you when you get Covid-19, not only for simple things like getting around and checking in to your health status, but to help you navigate and make decisions if you get brain fog.  Get their contact information, have a discussion with them, and set up a system of support NOW, before things get critical, just like you would for tornado or fire drills.  Read and rehearse the steps below, and have the proper materials on hand.

5 STEPS TO TAKE: 

#1: FLCCC.net (Front Line Covid Critical Care) is a trustworthy source involving hands-on doctors using science and practical, expert medical knowledge to TREAT and PREVENT Covid-19.  These doctors have studied and treated thousands of people, organized research and developed best practices around Covid-19. 

Here is their webpage on protocols for Covid-19, before, during, and after exposure: https://covid19criticalcare.com/covid-19-protocols/

#2: Watch the video of our personal Covid-19 experience (Delta variant). This should help you understand what it is like to have Covid-19 at the mild to moderate level, how to prepare, what to have on hand, and what to look for.

“Delta Variant Blues:  Our Personal Experience with Covid-19”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vKBY-ankhg

#3: *** Everyone should buy and have available two ESSENTIAL tools (Both of these cost only about 12 to 15 dollars each and can be found on Amazon or a local drug store):

  • A Pulse Oximeter (small, inexpensive device that can be placed over your finger to measure blood oxygen level and heart rate). 
  • A Digital Thermometer to measure temperature.

NOTE: Maintain extra batteries and regularly check your pulse, oxygen level, and temperature with these two tools even if you experience mild symptoms you don’t think are due to Covid-19. This will give you a baseline and a nice understanding of your general health, and could save your life if you develop Covid-19.  After the second week Regina had her oxygen levels dive to 87% and her heart rate skyrocket to nearly 130, producing massive fatigue, disorientation, and brain fog.  By monitoring even modest decreases in oxygen level and modest upticks in heart rate you are more likely to catch the virus early and avoid body and mind “crashes.”  Had we not mistaken our symptoms for allergies, and had we monitored our heart rate and blood oxygen level, we would have more effectively treated our condition and likely not gotten into a more urgent situation. 

Always use these tools IN CONJUNCTION with the essential therapies and supplements and lifestyle protective practices mentioned below.  Do not wait until things get dire.  Sometimes your oxygen can slip without you noticing it, and then “brain fog” will make Covid-19 much harder to navigate.   

#4: Essential therapies and supplements (from local health food store, Amazon, or Vitacost):

These are good basics to have readily accessible, much like a first aid kid.  One of the most important items is ivermectin.  Ivermectin has been shown to have significant beneficial effects in scientific studies and meta-analyses, but it is inexpensive, off-patent, and a competitor to the drug companies.  These companies have purposefully denigrated ivermectin, lied about its very high safety, and reinforced ivermectin supply shortages or prohibitions.  From what we can see, the only reliable way to get the human-prescribed form now (rather than the product for animals), is from India under the name “Stromectol” (though something that calls itself a Canadian Pharmacy).  You’ll get an annoying offer for four free Cialis or Viagra but, and it will take probably 2-4 weeks to arrive, even with free air mail and/or express mail. Order early, before Covid emergencies arise. 

If you get in trouble right away, see if you can to Dr. Aranda in the Los Angeles or others on the FLCCC.net site at https://covid19criticalcare.com/ivermectin-in-covid-19/how-to-get-ivermectin/ for phone prescription.

1) If you contract Covid-19, FLCC recommends ivermectin at approximately 24 mg (0.4 mg/kg) a day for first five days and then weekly.  Consult FLCCC.net protocol URL link above for prevention, and post-Covid exposure dosages. It is best to take Ivermectin with a fatty meal with at least 30 g of fat. (I find vegan yogurt works well).  Contact a local holistic or integrative doctor to see if you can to get a prescription for ivermectin. (Consult your local health food store to find doctors willing to prescribe ivermectin.)  Registering with GoodRX and downloading the app to a smart phone can lower drug costs significantly with or without insurance. 

2) Fluvoxamine was also helpful for Regina if you have itching or neuralgia.  This is also prescription only.

3) Basic supplement kit (dosages vary depending upon symptoms)

  • Organic food source daily multivitamin (1 pill)
  • Zinc (50 mg)
  • Vitamin D3 (3,000 – 5,000 IU)
  • Niacinamide (intermediate form of Vitamin B3) (500 – 1,000 mg)
  • Vitamin C (500 – 3,000 mg/day)
  • Melatonin (6 – 12 mg before bed)
  • Quercetin (250 – 800 mg)
  • Magnesium (400 – 1,000 mg)
  • Selenium (200 mcg)
  • Omega-3 Fatty Acids (Vegan or Fish Oil) (1,500 mg)
  • Probiotics (1 pill day formula)
  • NAC (N-Acetyl-Cysteine) (1,000 mg)
  • Aspirin (325 mg)
  • From Patch20.com: Alpha Omega Ultimate Patch (Turmeric (500 mg), Vitamin D3 (5,000 IU), CBD (50 mg), and Omega 3/Krill Oil (1500 mg) as well as Ultimate Pain Relief Patch (with cobrotoxin) for anti-achiness, inflammation, and lingering effects (Cobra Venom (50 mcg), CBD (100 mg), Turmeric (500 mg). 

Additional aids:

  • Resveratrol (75 mg)
  • Lumbrokinase (fibrolytic- breaks up clotting) (from Dr. Best or Boluoke) (40 mg)
  • Muscadine grape extract pills (500 mg), green tea extract (to cut down on viral replication)

Later– (2nd and 3rd weeks and on)

  • IMPORTANT: If oxygen drops to 92 or 93 on the pulse oximeter, make yourself straightaway to a hyperbaric oxygen chamber (Regina did it four days in a row) or find some alternative way to get oxygen immediately into your system. You will not be infectious after 10 days or so, but the secondary effects hit in ways that can be sudden and unpredictable.
  • Homeopathics seem to work for some (2x pelllets/day silicea, thuja occidentalis, allium cepa, arnica montana, causticum, 1x pellet Hyland’s seasonal allergy relief) to prevent allergic flare-ups that can attend the second inflammatory wave during the second and third weeks.
  • Ultimate Pain Relief: Continue on cobra venom (see above) if still experiencing achiness.
  • Continue with ivermectin and fluvoxamine if necessary. 
  • Make sure you have help in this stage, because you will be past infection, but may not be mentally that awake and aware (“brain fog”).  
  • Gargle and nasal spray with 1% diluted povidone-iodine solution.  

#5: Lifestyle protection against disease and enhancement of health

  • EAT WELL!  It will be helpful to eliminate processed sugars and dairy during Covid exposure and recovery. Eating whole, chemical-free, non-processed foods is good health practice generally.
  • Don’t overeat. Too much food stresses the immune system. Intermittent fasting helps.
  • Moderately exercise outdoors.
  • Get a LOT of sleep and rest (get off the go-go-go train)
  • Hydrate (drink water throughout the day)
  • Engage in mindfulness/meditation/intentional de-stressing
  • Nasal breathing every day for nitric oxide boost, refresh nerves (6-7-8 method: breathe long in through the nose 6 seconds, hold the breath 7 seconds, out through mouth 8 seconds—Do at least 4 times).
  • Gargle and nasal spray with diluted (1%) povidone-iodine to kill Covid-19 virus which tends to attach in the throat and the nasal passages.
  • Eat plenty of dark chocolate and drink green tea!  Both help reduce viral replication.

For a comprehensive review of the research on environmental conditions, lifestyle, therapies, and supplements that can help you beat Covid-19, watch:

“FINALLY! Covid-19: A Comprehensive Practical Integrative Approach”

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